I Watch The Scary Movie Franchise So You Don’t Have To: Scary Movie

If you have never seen Scary Movie you probably should. It is a just full of chaos. This movie is a parody of multiple genres including the horror, slasher, and mystery film genres. Several 1990s films and TV shows are spoofed, however the film primarily follows the plot of Scream and I Know What You Did Last Summer with some scenes from other horror films being parodied as well. HOWEVER this is not a movie you want to watch with your kids or younger sibling! Trust me. For those who haven’t seen this film, here’s what you’re missing, and let me tell you, this blog won’t do it justice.

Drew Decker receives a threatening phone call while home alone. Drew is chased outside by somebody dressed as Ghostface, who stabs her in the breast, removing one of her silicone implants. what did I tell you A vehicle driven by her father, who is distracted by receiving fellatio from his wife, hits her, and she looks up to her murderer just before her throat is slit by the killer.

Cindy Campbell meets up with her boyfriend Bobby and her friends, Brenda, Ray, Greg, Shorty and Buffy. Various news teams, including hack reporter Gail Hailstorm, converge on the school in the wake of Drew’s murder. Gail hooks up with Buffy’s intellectually disabled brother Special Officer Doofy, hoping to milk the facts out of him.

While Cindy is in class, she notices the killer watching her from outside and then receives an ominous note and realizes Drew was murdered exactly one year after she and her friends accidentally killed a man. First of all, the guy wasnt even dead, they hit him with the car and while they were all freaking out, he was trying to tell them he was fine and then they threw something knocking him out, so they put him in the trunk and then threw him in the water. HE WAS ALIVE THE WHOLE TIME GUYS.

After football practice, Greg notices a picture of his minuscule genitals on his locker saying “I KNOW” on it. He accuses Ray who, throughout the whole film gives hints that he’s most likely gay, which nothing wrong with that, but if you watch the film, you would know why I needed to make a note on it of taking the picture and nearly fights him. Cindy tells Greg and the others about the note she got and that they need to tell the police but Greg beats her instead like literally punching and kicking her telling them to not involve the police, afraid of going to prison for the murder they committed the previous year.

At Buffy’s beauty pageant that evening, Greg is killed by the killer in plain view while the audience mistakes Buffy’s pleas for help as being part of her act of dramatic reading, but Buffy wins the pageant, forgetting about Greg. this girl smh

After Cindy goes home alone, the killer attacks her but retreats when Cindy contacts the police. Bobby arrives and is arrested after a cellphone, knife and gloves fall out of his pocket. As Cindy spends the night at Buffy and Doofy’s place, she receives a mocking call from the killer.

The following day, Bobby is released from jail. Buffy is beheaded by the killer with a cleaver, though her severed head keeps talking and is subsequently locked in a lost and found bin. They never found her head btw That night, Gail and her cameraman, Kenny, go to Lovers Lookout, a teen makeout spot, to get a murder on camera and films the killer murdering a girl named Heather. SHE FILMS IT The killer then chases Gail and Kenny into the woods and murders Kenny, while Gail gives a snot-filled apology to his family, a parody of one of the scenes in The Blair Witch Project. Yeah this was gross

Later that night, Ray and Brenda go to the movie theater to see Shakespeare in Love, where Ray is stabbed through his head in a bathroom stall while using a glory hole. he was stabbed by a penis btw The killer goes after Brenda but angry movie patrons, who are fed up with Brenda’s rude and obnoxious behavior, begin stabbing her to make her stop and also for ruining Shakespeare in Love and several other movies like Thelma and Louise, The Fugitive, Schindler’s List, the Jackie Chan movies, Boogie Nights, and Big Momma’s House until Brenda drops dead, much to the audience’s relief. I feel like, there are times where I just want to shut people up to haha…don’t worry I would never actually murder them…just in my head.

Meanwhile, Cindy throws a house party, hoping for safety in numbers. Meanwhile, Cindy’s friend, Tina goes out to the garage to get more beer but is killed while trying to escape from the killer through a cat flap. During the party, Cindy and Bobby go upstairs and have sex. While in the basement, the killer shows up and gets stoned with Shorty and his friends, but ends up killing all of them except Shorty. After Cindy and Bobby have sex, the killer appears and stabs Bobby before disappearing. Cindy gets a gun from a drawer and Bobby follows. Shorty comes up from the basement, Bobby takes the gun and shoots him. Ray arrives on the scene, still alive.

Bobby and Ray confront Cindy in the kitchen and announce their intention to only kill her and her father, and that they are merely copying a real killer. Bobby admits being gay, while Ray denies being so. The plan backfires when Ray viciously stabs Bobby numerous times, angry because his favorite show, The Wayans Bros., has been canceled. sigh The killer abruptly arrives and stabs Ray. He and Cindy fight, with Cindy employing moves copied from The Matrix and kicking him out a window. However, the killer vanishes before the police arrive.

At the police station, Cindy and the sheriff discover that the killer was not David Keegan, the man whom Cindy and her friends accidentally killed a year earlier and realize that Doofy is the killer the whole time and was faking his disability. That means this guy faked his disability for like 26 years because his family literally didn’t know a thing. First of all….wouldnt the doctor know that he was faking it? I don’t know this movie is too much Doofy has already escaped with Gail Hailstorm after removing his disguise, a parody of the ending of The Usual Suspects. Upon finding his discarded backpack with his Ghostface mask and sharp knife in the street, Cindy begins screaming but is hit by a car, as the sheriff walks away.

In a mid-credits scene, Shorty is presumably giving advice on how to survive a horror movie but it is actually advice on how to successfully enact a Snatch-and-Run.

In a post-credits scene, Doofy is shown in his bedroom “breaking up” with the vacuum cleaner as though it were a real person with whom he had a relationship. The end.

If that didn’t make you want to watch the movie, I don’t know what will. It’s insane, I know, but it’s defintely a fun movie to watch with your friends when you just want to watch a stupid movie. I don’t even know what kind of lesson I learned from this film, to be honest I don’t think there really was a lesson, but if I had to make one it up, it would probably be: watch out for your siblings.

Next movie: Scary Movie 2

I Watch The X-Men Franchise So You Don’t Have To: X-Men

Welp folks, this week we got another Marvel movie, but not the Marvel movie you were probably hoping for sorry MCU fans. This week we are watching the X-Men franchise from 20th Century FOX BEFORE it was bought by Disney. I’ve seen all the movies and they’re pretty good. I’m hoping that Disney keeps the same cast for “their” adaptation of this franchise, however I just read that Jennifer Lawerence is possibly playing Sue Storm in Fantastic Four and if you’ve seen these movies you would know that Jennifer Lawerence plays young Mystique, so I think they already screwed up, but it’s fine whatever we’ll see what happens. ANYWAY if you haven’t seen these movies, what are you doing! Go on Disney+ right now and watch it! … or maybe wait until you’re done reading this and THEN go and watch it so you can SEE everything I just described. Enought chit-chat, let’s get into X-Men.

In 1944, in Nazi-occupied Poland, young Erik Lehnsherr my favorite character to be honest is separated from his parents upon entrance into the Auschwitz concentration camp. While he attempts to reach them, he causes a set of metal gates to bend toward him before being knocked out by the guards. he probably has one of the coolest powers and it’s very unique, while controlling minds and mind readng and all that is also very cool, this guy’s power is so different from everyone else. I also just love Ian McKellen so….hehe In the not-too-distant future, U.S. Senator Robert Kelly attempts to pass a “Mutant Registration Act” in Congress, which would force mutants to reveal their identities and abilities. Present are Lehnsherr, now going by the name “Magneto”, because you know…he can control metal and his telepathic colleague Professor Charles Xavier. Xavier sees Lehnsherr in attendance and is concerned with how he will respond to the Registration Act. hint he’s not that thrilled.

In Meridian, Mississippi, 17-year-old Marie D’Ancanto I hate this girl…I don’t have a good reason for it, she just bothered me accidentally puts her boyfriend into a coma after she kisses him, because her mutant ability absorbs the power and life force of others. She runs away from home and adopts the name Rogue. In Alberta, she meets Logan, also known as “Wolverine”, a mutant who possesses superhuman healing abilities and metal “claws” that protrude from between his knuckles. They are attacked on the road by Sabretooth, a member of Magneto’s Brotherhood of Mutants, but two members of Xavier’s X-Men, Cyclops and Storm, arrive and save them. Wolverine and Rogue are brought to Xavier’s school for mutants in Westchester County, New York, where Xavier tells Logan that Magneto appears to have taken an interest in him and asks him to stay while he investigates the matter. Rogue enrolls in the school.

Senator Kelly is abducted by Brotherhood members Toad and Mystique now this girl…she has a very dangerous ability. She can transform into basically anyone…she can even have the same voice. While mind reading and controlling metal may be pretty powerful, I think hers is probably the most dangerous, yet most helpful and brought to their hideout on the uncharted island of Genosha. Magneto uses Kelly as a test subject for a machine powered by his magnetic abilities that generates a field of radiation, which induces mutations in normal humans. Kelly later escapes by taking advantage of his newfound mutation. Rogue visits Wolverine during the night while he is having a nightmare. Startled, he accidentally stabs her, but she is able to absorb his healing ability to recover. This is observed by fellow students who arrived to help. She is later convinced by Mystique, who disguises herself as Rogue’s crush Bobby Drake, that Xavier is angry with her and she should leave the school. See what I mean Xavier uses his mutant-locating machine Cerebro to find Rogue at a train station, and the X-Men go to retrieve her. Meanwhile, Mystique enters Cerebro and sabotages it. This thing only opens by scanning Xavier’s eye….this girl managed to transform into Xavier and get in with ease. Another reason why she’s very dangerous.

Having left ahead of Storm and Cyclops, Wolverine finds Rogue on a train and convinces her to return to the school. Before they can leave, Magneto arrives, knocks out Wolverine and subdues Rogue, revealing it was Rogue who he wants rather than Wolverine. Although Xavier attempts to stop him by mentally controlling Sabretooth, he is forced to release his hold on Sabretooth when Magneto threatens the police who have converged on the train station, allowing the Brotherhood to escape with Rogue. Best scene in my opinion to be honest Kelly arrives at the school, and Xavier reads his mind to learn about Magneto’s machine. Realizing the strain of powering it nearly killed Magneto, the X-Men deduces he intends to transfer his powers to Rogue and use her to power it at the cost of her life.

Kelly’s body rejects his mutation, and his body dissolves into liquid. Xavier attempts to locate Rogue using Cerebro, but Mystique’s sabotage incapacitates him, and he falls into a coma. Fellow telekinetic and telepath Jean Grey fixes Cerebro and uses it, learning that the Brotherhood plans to place their mutation-inducing machine on Liberty Island and use it to “mutate” the world leaders meeting at a summit on nearby Ellis Island. The X-Men scale the Statue of Liberty, battling and overpowering the Brotherhood while Magneto transfers his powers to Rogue and activates the mutating machine. As Wolverine confronts and distracts Magneto, Cyclops blasts him away, allowing Wolverine to destroy the machine. He transfers his powers to Rogue and his healing abilities rejuvenate her, while incapacitating himself.

Professor Xavier and Wolverine recover from their comas. The group also learns that Mystique escaped the island battle and is impersonating Senator Kelly, despite being seriously injured by Wolverine. IT JUST KEEPS GETTING WORSE WITH THIS GIRL Xavier gives Wolverine a lead to his past at an abandoned military installation in Canada. Magneto is imprisoned in a complex constructed of plastic and is visited by Xavier, and Magneto warns him that he intends to escape one day and continue the fight; Xavier replies that he will always be there. The end.

So that’s the movie. It’s so much cooler if you actually watch it, but I get it, you don’t got the time or you’re just refreshing yourself with what happened. Like I said earlier, this movie is available on Disney+. The lesson I learned from this film: Don’t mess with people who have powers, they will mess you up!

Next movie: X2: X-Men United

I Watch The Kingman Franchise So You Don’t Have To: Kingsman: The Secret Service

I know that I missed a week I’m sorry, but hey…you’re still going to get your weekly blog so don’t worry. I can’t tell you when, but it’s going to happen. Maybe you’ll get two in a row! Anyway, for this blog Andrew and watched the Kingsman Franchise, which I have never seen before or heard of before until maybe one or two years ago. All I know about it is that it’s a spy-type of movie, which I sometimes like, it depends on the day really.

This week, sorry I know I was late this week…or last week? I don’t know…last Saturday. Andrew and are watching the Kingsman Franchise, which I have never seen before or heard of before until maybe one or two years ago. It’s another spy movie, however this was a pretty cool spy movie. I usually like spy movies, but I gotta be in the mood for them if that makes sense. In short, the film follows “Eggsy” and his recruitment and training into a secret spy organization. So, without further ado, here is what you’re missing.

In 1997, probationary secret agent Lee Unwin sacrifices himself to save his superior, Harry Hart Harry is my guy. Blaming himself for Lee’s death, Harry returns to London and gives Lee’s young son Eggsy I dont know a medal engraved with an emergency assistance number.

Seventeen years later, Eggsy is a rebellious type of guy, having dropped out of training for the Royal Marines despite his intelligence and talent for gymnastics and parkour. Arrested for stealing a car, Eggsy calls the emergency number, leading Harry to arrange his release and subdue Eggsy’s abusive stepfather and his gang. Harry explains that he is a member of Kingsman, a private intelligence service founded by British elite who lost their heirs in World War I and put their money toward protecting the world; the organisation is named for the tailor shop in Savile Row used as a front for their operations. Very clever if you ask me

Harry, codename “Galahad”, nominates Eggsy to replace agent “Lancelot”, who was killed by the assassin Gazelle while trying to rescue radical climate change scientist Professor James Arnold from kidnappers. this movie came out in 2014 and it was more relevant today than it was in 2014 Kingsman’s technical support operative “Merlin” discovers Arnold working as though nothing has happened. Hart attempts to interrogate the professor at Imperial College London, but a microchip in Arnold’s neck explodes, killing him. The detonation signal is traced to Gazelle’s employer Richmond Valentine, a billionaire philanthropist who has offered everyone in the world SIM cards with free cellular and Internet access. Hart poses as another philanthropist to meet Valentine.

Eggsy befriends fellow Kingsman trainee Roxy, and endures Merlin’s he’s another agent by the way tests until they are the only candidates left. Eggsy refuses his final test — shooting a Pug puppy he was given to raise — and Roxy is named the new “Lancelot”. ugh whatever Harry learns of Valentine’s connection to a religious hate group and travels to their church in Kentucky, wearing glasses containing a video transceiver. As Eggsy watches Harry’s footage, Valentine triggers the SIM cards inside the church with a signal that causes the parishioners and Harry to become murderously violent. Harry is the only survivor, but is shot in the face by Valentine, apparently killing him. yeah this was not okay, I was very upset. VERY upset. And might I say that Harry DESTROYED everyone in that church.

Eggsy returns to Kingsman headquarters and notices that Chester “Arthur” King, Kingsman’s leader, has the same implantation scar on his neck as Professor Arnold. King reveals Valentine’s plan to transmit his violence-inducing signal worldwide, “culling” most of humanity to avert its extinction from global warming. Valentine has recruited various world leaders and wealthy elite to his cause, implanted with chips to protect them from the signal; those who refuse are held captive at his bunker, including Crown Princess Tilde of Sweden. King poisons Eggsy’s drink, but Eggsy switches glasses, letting King poison himself instead. dumb

Eggsy, Merlin, and Roxy locate Valentine’s bunker, where many of his conspirators are gathered. Roxy pilots high-altitude balloons to break up Valentine’s satellite network, but he secures a replacement. Merlin flies to the bunker, where Eggsy masquerades as King but is discovered by failed Kingsman recruit Charlie Hesketh. Cornered by Valentine’s men, Merlin activates the implanted chips’ failsafe, killing the guards and conspirators as heads explode around the world. Valentine activates the signal, triggering worldwide pandemonium. Eggsy kills Gazelle and impales Valentine with one of Gazelle’s sharpened prosthetic blades, stopping the signal, and shares a sexual encounter with Princess Tilde. yes it was in fact, very sexual.

In a mid-credits scene, Eggsy, now the new “Galahad”, offers his mother and half-sister a new home, and prepares to take on his stepfather and his gang, just as Harry did. best part of the film. The end.

Welp, there you have it. Another spy movie, that wasn’t like most spy movies, in my opinion anyway. These movies always make me wish I had the confidence to be a spy and do the things that they do, but you know, I don’t so I just sit behind this computer all day and write, which is fine too. This movie isn’t available to stream anywhere, I know annoying, so you’re going to have to rent it or buy it. The lesson I learned from this film: If you’re a troubled person, just become a spy.

Next movie: Kingsman: The Golden Circle

I Watch The Rocky Franchise So You Don’t Have To: Rocky

To those of you have seen these movies, you’re going to hate me, but I did not like this movie at all. Why? It was boring, made no sense and it had a disappointing ending. I honestly don’t understand what the hype is all about. For those who haven’t seen this movie and don’t like movies where you’re just watching someone live their life, then don’t waste your time watching this. That’s just my opinion though, if you want to give it a try, go for it, it’s not available to stream anywhere, so you can either buy it, rent it or illegally stream it. I’m really hoping that the next couple of movies are a lot better than this one.

In 1975, the heavyweight boxing world champion, Apollo Creed, who I thought was a real person for some reason announces plans to hold a title bout in Philadelphia during the upcoming United States Bicentennial. However, he is informed five weeks from the fight date that his scheduled opponent Mac Lee Green is unable to compete due to an injured hand. With all other potential replacements booked up or otherwise unavailable, Creed decides to spice things up by giving a local contender a chance to challenge him. oh how thoughtful

Creed selects Rocky Balboa, an Italian journeyman southpaw boxer who fights primarily in small gyms and works as a collector for a loan shark. Rocky meets with promoter George Jergens assuming that Creed is seeking local sparring partners. Reluctant at first, Rocky eventually agrees to the fight which will pay him $150,000. Rocky undergoes several weeks of unorthodox training, such as using sides of beef as punching bags. His one friend who gives him access to the beef is super annoying and thought he was helping him even though Rocky had a trainer already. Also, this friend’s sister is the love interest and she’s extremly shy and barely talks throughout this movie, meaning we gotta listen to Rocky, mumble nonsense to her.

Rocky is later approached by Mickey Goldmill, a former bantamweight fighter who turned trainer and whose gym Rocky frequents, about further training. Rocky is not willing initially, as Mickey has not shown much interest in helping him before and sees him as a wasted talent, but eventually Rocky accepts the offer.

Rocky begins to build a romantic relationship with Adrian Pennino, who is working part-time at the J&M Tropical Fish pet shop. Adrian’s brother and Rocky’s best friend, Paulie, helps Rocky get a date with his sister and offers to work as a corner man with him for the fight. Paulie becomes jealous of Rocky’s success, but Rocky placates him by agreeing to advertise the meat packing business where Paulie works as part of the upcoming fight. this is the guy I was talking about earlier. The night before the fight, a sleepless Rocky visits the Philadelphia Spectrum and begins to lose confidence. He confesses to Adrian that he does not believe he can win, but strives to go the distance against Creed, which no other fighter has done, to prove himself to everyone; if he can go the distance, he will not be just “another bum from the neighborhood.”

On New Year’s Day, the fight is held with Creed making a dramatic entrance dressed as George Washington and then Uncle Sam. Taking advantage of his overconfidence, Rocky knocks him down in the first round—the first time that Creed has ever been knocked down. Humbled and worried, Creed takes Rocky more seriously for the rest of the fight, though his ego never fully fades. The fight goes on for the full fifteen rounds, with both combatants sustaining various injuries. Rocky, with hits to the head and swollen eyes, requires his right eyelid to be cut to restore his vision. Apollo, with internal bleeding and a broken rib, struggles to breathe. As the fight concludes, Creed’s superior skill is countered by Rocky’s apparently unlimited ability to absorb punches and his dogged refusal to go down. As the final bell sounds, with both fighters embracing each other, they promise each other there will be no rematch. This whole thing is the only entertaining thing in this whole movie.

After the fight, the sportscasters and the audience go wild. Jergens announces over the loudspeaker that the fight was “the greatest exhibition of guts and stamina in the history of the ring”, and Rocky calls out repeatedly for Adrian, who runs down and comes into the ring. As Jergens declares Creed the winner by virtue of a split decision, Rocky and Adrian embrace and profess their love for each other, not caring about the outcome of the fight. Which he loses, and I mean I guess that’s fine, but like, I watched this whole movie to watch him lose? I don’t know. The end.

In my own personal opinion, this movie wasn’t good at all. I barely paid attention, I was constantly bored and I kept checking to see how much time was left in the movie. A lot of people like this movie, which is why I recommend to give it a go if you’re still a little skeptical. If you’re anything like me, just skip it, you won’t like it. However, that doesn’t mean I won’t be watching the rest of the franchise. The lesson I learned from this film is: If you want to film a movie based on your life, go for it, apparently everyone will love it.

Next movie: Rocky II

I Watch The Transformers Franchise So You Don’t Have To: Transformers

This week we have the Transformers franchise and to tell you the truth this is another franchise I have never seen before. It came out in 2007, so I was like 8-years-old and I guess my parents didn’t think it appropriate for me to watch a bunch of cars transform into huge robots. I’m happy I finally got the chance to sit down and watch it because I throughly enjoyed it and am excited for the rest of the franchise. The franchise is based off of the action figures from the company Hasbros, which I didn’t know. You learn something new every day. Anyway, here’s what you’re missing if you haven’t seen the movie and don’t plan on it.

Thousands of years ago, the planet Cybertron was consumed by a civil war between the two Transformer factions, the Autobots led by Optimus Prime my duuuude and the Decepticons led by Megatron. The Autobots want to find the All Spark, the source of all Cybertronian life, so they can use it to rebuild Cybertron and end the war between the Autobots and the Decepticons, while the Decepticons want to use it to defeat the Autobots and conquer the universe. Megatron found the All Spark on Earth, but crash-landed in the Arctic Circle and was frozen in the ice. ha loser Captain Archibald Witwicky and his crew of explorers stumble upon Megatron’s body in 1897. Captain Witwicky accidentally activates Megatron’s navigational system, causing his eyeglasses to be imprinted with the coordinates of the All Spark’s location. “Accidentally” in every movie I see someone has to touch something which causes a whole problem in the movie. This guy should’ve just seen Megatron and said “nope I’m out.” But no, we gotta touch things. Sector 7, a secret United States government organization, discovers the All Spark in the Colorado river and builds the Hoover Dam around it to mask its energy emissions. The still-frozen Megatron is moved into this facility and is reverse engineered to advance human technology. *sigh* back to the touching. But this time, it’s worse because the government has to get involved and try to use it for their own good and not just leave anything alone. Once again, can’t just say “nope I’m out”.

In the present day, the Decepticons, Blackout, Scorponok, Frenzy, Barricade, Starscream, Brawl and Bonecrusher—have landed on Earth and assumed the disguise of Earth vehicles and have setup a conspiracy. Blackout and Scorponok attack the U.S. SOCCENT military base in Qatar and try to hack into the U.S. military network to find the location of Megatron and the All Spark. Their mission is thwarted when the base staff severs the network cable connections. While Blackout destroys the rest of the base, Scorponok chases a small group of survivors who have photographic evidence of the robots, but he is eventually repelled. During this battle, the military discovers its only effective weapons against the Transformers’ armor are high-heat sabot rounds.

After Blackout’s failure, Frenzy infiltrates Air Force One to try again to hack into the military network, and in doing so plants a virus. He finds the map imprinted on Captain Witwicky’s glasses, whose descendant, Sam Witwicky, intends to sell on eBay. Frenzy and Barricade begin tracking Sam’s location. The Autonomous Robotic Organism (shortened to “Autobot”) Bumblebee is also on Earth, disguised as a 1976 Chevrolet Camaro, and is bought by Sam while shopping for his first car. Bumblebee helps him woo his crush, Mikaela Banes. Bumblebee leaves at night to transmit a homing signal to the rest of the Autobots and Sam sees him in robot mode. Barricade confronts Sam and demands Archibald’s spectacles, but Bumblebee rescues him and Mikaela.

After Bumblebee upgrades his vehicle form by scanning a 2006 Chevrolet Camaro, they leave to rendezvous with the rest of the Autobots: Optimus Prime, Jazz, Ironhide, and Ratchet—who have landed on Earth and taken the forms of Earth vehicles as well. Sam, Mikaela, and the Autobots return to Sam’s home and obtain the glasses. Soon special agents from Sector 7 arrive and capture Sam, Mikaela, and Bumblebee. These agents were THE most annoying people I have ever seen in so far in this movie. Including Sam’s parents. Mostly the mom. She was BEYOND annoying. But these agents, they want all these answers, which I understand, however, Sam should’ve just told them what Optimus told them and then see where that got him. If the goverment didn’t believe him, then that’s on them. I don’t know.

Frenzy, disguised as a mobile phone, secretly accompanies the group to Hoover Dam and releases Megatron from his frozen state. Locating the All Spark, Frenzy sends an alert to the other Decepticons. And while at the base, Agent Simmons show’s everyone in on this that they have had precise contact with the “Transformers”. And that the Decpticon’s have formed a conspiracy to free Megatron and eliminate humanity. Later, Sam convinces the Sector 7 to release Bumblebee so that he can get the All Spark to Optimus Prime. Frenzy’s virus has shut down government communications, but a pair of hackers manage to establish a signal to the Air Force. The Autobot-human convoy goes to nearby Mission City to obtain a radio that will guide the Air Force’s defense and secure a rendezvous point as a safe destination for All Spark. The Decepticons attack and Bonecrusher, Frenzy, Jazz, Brawl, and Blackout are all killed during the ensuing battle, but Sam manages to ram the All Spark into Megatron’s chest, killing Megatron and destroying the All Spark. Optimus takes a fragment of the All Spark from Megatron’s corpse but realizes that with its destruction, their homeworld Cybertron cannot be restored. No kidding.

Consequently, Optimus sends a signal to other surviving Autobots in the universe, directing them to this new home, Earth, where there can be more of them and The Secretary of Defense and US government soon authorizes this decommission of Sector 7 and has the corpses of the defeated Decepticons dumped into the Laurentian Abyss. The end.

This movie was really cool and I really liked how they focused on them transforming. For 2007, the CGI was actually pretty good for the Transformers. I can’t wait to see how much better it gets as the years go on. I also liked that the Transformers could disguise themselves as other electronic devices on Earth. It kind of makes you wonder/pretend that there are actual Autobots in the “real” world. If you’re interested in watching this film, it’s available on HBOMAX. The lesson I learned from this film: Don’t touch anything.

Next movie: Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen