If you have never seen Scary Movie you probably should. It is a just full of chaos. This movie is a parody of multiple genres including the horror, slasher, and mystery film genres. Several 1990s films and TV shows are spoofed, however the film primarily follows the plot of Scream and I Know What You Did Last Summer with some scenes from other horror films being parodied as well. HOWEVER this is not a movie you want to watch with your kids or younger sibling! Trust me. For those who haven’t seen this film, here’s what you’re missing, and let me tell you, this blog won’t do it justice.
Drew Decker receives a threatening phone call while home alone. Drew is chased outside by somebody dressed as Ghostface, who stabs her in the breast, removing one of her silicone implants. what did I tell you A vehicle driven by her father, who is distracted by receiving fellatio from his wife, hits her, and she looks up to her murderer just before her throat is slit by the killer.
Cindy Campbell meets up with her boyfriend Bobby and her friends, Brenda, Ray, Greg, Shorty and Buffy. Various news teams, including hack reporter Gail Hailstorm, converge on the school in the wake of Drew’s murder. Gail hooks up with Buffy’s intellectually disabled brother Special Officer Doofy, hoping to milk the facts out of him.
While Cindy is in class, she notices the killer watching her from outside and then receives an ominous note and realizes Drew was murdered exactly one year after she and her friends accidentally killed a man. First of all, the guy wasnt even dead, they hit him with the car and while they were all freaking out, he was trying to tell them he was fine and then they threw something knocking him out, so they put him in the trunk and then threw him in the water. HE WAS ALIVE THE WHOLE TIME GUYS.
After football practice, Greg notices a picture of his minuscule genitals on his locker saying “I KNOW” on it. He accuses Ray who, throughout the whole film gives hints that he’s most likely gay, which nothing wrong with that, but if you watch the film, you would know why I needed to make a note on it of taking the picture and nearly fights him. Cindy tells Greg and the others about the note she got and that they need to tell the police but Greg beats her instead like literally punching and kicking her telling them to not involve the police, afraid of going to prison for the murder they committed the previous year.
At Buffy’s beauty pageant that evening, Greg is killed by the killer in plain view while the audience mistakes Buffy’s pleas for help as being part of her act of dramatic reading, but Buffy wins the pageant, forgetting about Greg. this girl smh
After Cindy goes home alone, the killer attacks her but retreats when Cindy contacts the police. Bobby arrives and is arrested after a cellphone, knife and gloves fall out of his pocket. As Cindy spends the night at Buffy and Doofy’s place, she receives a mocking call from the killer.
The following day, Bobby is released from jail. Buffy is beheaded by the killer with a cleaver, though her severed head keeps talking and is subsequently locked in a lost and found bin. They never found her head btw That night, Gail and her cameraman, Kenny, go to Lovers Lookout, a teen makeout spot, to get a murder on camera and films the killer murdering a girl named Heather. SHE FILMS IT The killer then chases Gail and Kenny into the woods and murders Kenny, while Gail gives a snot-filled apology to his family, a parody of one of the scenes in The Blair Witch Project. Yeah this was gross
Later that night, Ray and Brenda go to the movie theater to see Shakespeare in Love, where Ray is stabbed through his head in a bathroom stall while using a glory hole. he was stabbed by a penis btw The killer goes after Brenda but angry movie patrons, who are fed up with Brenda’s rude and obnoxious behavior, begin stabbing her to make her stop and also for ruining Shakespeare in Love and several other movies like Thelma and Louise, The Fugitive, Schindler’s List, the Jackie Chan movies, Boogie Nights, and Big Momma’s House until Brenda drops dead, much to the audience’s relief. I feel like, there are times where I just want to shut people up to haha…don’t worry I would never actually murder them…just in my head.
Meanwhile, Cindy throws a house party, hoping for safety in numbers. Meanwhile, Cindy’s friend, Tina goes out to the garage to get more beer but is killed while trying to escape from the killer through a cat flap. During the party, Cindy and Bobby go upstairs and have sex. While in the basement, the killer shows up and gets stoned with Shorty and his friends, but ends up killing all of them except Shorty. After Cindy and Bobby have sex, the killer appears and stabs Bobby before disappearing. Cindy gets a gun from a drawer and Bobby follows. Shorty comes up from the basement, Bobby takes the gun and shoots him. Ray arrives on the scene, still alive.
Bobby and Ray confront Cindy in the kitchen and announce their intention to only kill her and her father, and that they are merely copying a real killer. Bobby admits being gay, while Ray denies being so. The plan backfires when Ray viciously stabs Bobby numerous times, angry because his favorite show, The Wayans Bros., has been canceled. sigh The killer abruptly arrives and stabs Ray. He and Cindy fight, with Cindy employing moves copied from The Matrix and kicking him out a window. However, the killer vanishes before the police arrive.
At the police station, Cindy and the sheriff discover that the killer was not David Keegan, the man whom Cindy and her friends accidentally killed a year earlier and realize that Doofy is the killer the whole time and was faking his disability. That means this guy faked his disability for like 26 years because his family literally didn’t know a thing. First of all….wouldnt the doctor know that he was faking it? I don’t know this movie is too much Doofy has already escaped with Gail Hailstorm after removing his disguise, a parody of the ending of The Usual Suspects. Upon finding his discarded backpack with his Ghostface mask and sharp knife in the street, Cindy begins screaming but is hit by a car, as the sheriff walks away.
In a mid-credits scene, Shorty is presumably giving advice on how to survive a horror movie but it is actually advice on how to successfully enact a Snatch-and-Run.
In a post-credits scene, Doofy is shown in his bedroom “breaking up” with the vacuum cleaner as though it were a real person with whom he had a relationship. The end.
If that didn’t make you want to watch the movie, I don’t know what will. It’s insane, I know, but it’s defintely a fun movie to watch with your friends when you just want to watch a stupid movie. I don’t even know what kind of lesson I learned from this film, to be honest I don’t think there really was a lesson, but if I had to make one it up, it would probably be: watch out for your siblings.
Next movie: Scary Movie 2
Gabriella Dragone 