This week we are diving into the jungle for the movie Anaconda. At first I thought this movie was going to be scary, but it turned out to not be so bad, especially with such a familiar cast. Jennifer Lopez, Ice Cube and Owen Wilson star in this movie, along with many other well-known actors and focuses on a documentary film crew in the Amazon rainforest that is captured by a snake hunter who is hunting down a giant, legendary green anaconda. What could go wrong! So for those who don’t want to see the movie, here is what it was all about.
On the Amazon River, a poacher hides from an unknown creature in his boat. While it breaks through the boat and attempts to catch the poacher, he commits suicide by shooting himself to prevent it from killing him. Automatically makes you think, dang this thing must be THAT bad.
Meanwhile, a film crew is shooting a documentary about the Shirishamas, a long-lost indigenous Amazonian tribe. The crew includes director Terri Flores, JLO cameraman and childhood friend Danny Rich, that’s Ice Cube production manager Denise Kalberg, Denise’s boyfriend and sound engineer Gary Dixon, Lightning McQueen narrator Warren Westridge, anthropologist Professor Steven Cale, and boat skipper Mateo. The group encounters stranded Paraguayan snake hunter Paul Serone, who convinces them he can help them find the Shirishamas.
Most of the crew are uncomfortable around Serone, and Cale clashes with him several times about Shirishama lore. Eventually, Cale is stung by a wasp, and an allergic reaction swells up his throat and leaves him unconscious. Serone performs an emergency crcothyrotmy that’s that thing where they stick a needle in your throat to get the poison out and all that jazz seemingly saving Cale’s life, but soon after, he takes over the boat, forcing the crew to help him achieve his true goal; hunting down a giant record-breaking green anaconda he had been tracking, which he believes that he can capture alive. Oh. great. fantastic. Might I add, for the first couple of minutes of this film, I was on Paul’s side, a part of me didn’t really see the problem in catching this anaconda, I feel like if this was me, I would just suck it up and be like, “okay we’ll help you as long as you help us get back to land.” I mean I would be terrified, but if it was the only option I had then that’s what I’m going with.
Danny, Mateo and Serone search the wreckage of the poacher’s boat. A photograph in an old newspaper reveals that Mateo, Serone, and the poacher were working together to hunt animals, including snakes. Faaaaaantastic Leaving the poacher’s ship, Mateo falls into the water, where the anaconda attacks and kills him, while Danny and Serone return to their boat, unaware of Mateo’s fate. Serone promises that if the crew helps him find the snake, he will help them get out alive. Oh well look at that. That night, the anaconda attacks the boat crew. Serone attempts to capture the snake, but it coils around Gary, crushing him. Nooo my boy Owen! Terri attempts to shoot the anaconda to save him, but Serone knocks her gun away and the snake devours Gary. The crew overpowers Serone and ties him up as punishment.
The next day, the boat becomes stuck at a waterfall, requiring Terri, Danny, and Westridge to enter the water to winch it loose. Denise confronts Serone and attempts to kill him to avenge Gary’s death, but he strangles her with his legs before dumping her corpse into the river. That’s a lot of leg power not going to lie. The anaconda returns, and Westridge distracts it long enough for Terri and Danny to return to the boat while Westridge ascends the waterfall. Serone breaks free during the attack and attacks Danny. The anaconda climbs a tree and attacks Westridge, but the tree snaps. The crew winds up in the water, Cale wakes up in the process, and Westridge is killed in the fall from the waterfall. He was the best character to be honest. He was like the character that was very materialistic and whatnot. The snake attacks Danny, but Terri shoots it in the head. Serone, still believing he can capture the snake alive, attacks her. Cale stabs him with a tranquilizer dart before losing consciousness again himself, and Danny knocks Serone into the river.
Serone manages to catch up to the group and captures Terri and Danny, using them as bait in an attempt to capture a second, much larger anaconda. Just when you think it’s over, it just gets more intense The snake attacks the pair, slowly suffocating them. Serone attempts to catch the anaconda in a net, but it breaks free and attacks him, eventually swallowing him whole, ha while Terri and Danny watch as they escape their bonds.
The anaconda gives chase to Terri, who retreats into the building and finds a nest full of newborn anacondas. The snake regurgitates the still alive but partially digested Serone and chases her up a smokestack. Danny pins its tail to the ground with a pickaxe and ignites a fire below the smoke shack, setting the snake on fire. The resulting explosion sends the burning anaconda flying out of the building and into the water. As Terri and Danny recuperate on a nearby dock, the anaconda resurfaces, but Danny kills it with an ax to the head.
Afterward, Terri and Danny reunite with Cale, who begins to revive on the boat. While floating downriver, the trio suddenly locates the Shirishama tribe, who helps them escape the Amazon. The end.
This movie was okay, it got my adrenaline going, but I don’t know if I would consider this a “horror” film, which is what the company classifies it as. It’s also why I put this movie in the “Horror/Scary” category. Apparently in 2020, Sony Pictures announced a reboot in development and screenwriter Evan Daughterty was hired to reboot the film. It’s 2022, and I haven’t heard anything about a reboot, but I guess we’ll see. Maybe this one will actually be scary? Who knows. Anyway, if you’re looking for a movie to watch while you’re bored, this is the movie for you, but there are definitely better movies out there. This movie is available on Netflix. The lesson I learned from this film: do your research before you go to the Amazon. I mean really, it’s the Amazon.
Next movie: Lake Placid
Gabriella Dragone 
Nice post 😄
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